Long time no blog...

September is rapidly coming to a close, and with the new blue ray release of the Star Wars series work looks like the Death Star.  I'm a big Star Wars fan.  My wife is a Trekkie.  Some of you may say "what's the difference?" and others will understand.  Jamie will watch Star Trek movies and television shows, and sometimes even read a book or two, and that's about it.  No conventions, no collecting memorabilia, nothing really geeky.

I'm a self-professed geek.  I visit Star Wars websites.  I like collecting the toys.  I say dumb quotes from the movies.  Yeah it's really nerdy.  Yeah I could really care less.  She just rolls her eyes at me.  She says she doesn't care but I get the impression she is wondering what is wrong with me.  I'm not saying there isn't something wrong with me, I'm simply saying, if it is wrong I don't want to be right.  To her credit she is very tolerant.

So anyways, since my wife doesn't want to hear it, I may very well start expressing my gusto for all things geeky all over this blog.

  So anyways here's my first R2D2 astromech droid I've drawn since I was a little kid.  Star Wars appeals to me visually.  It makes me want to draw and illustrate in a way I haven't felt in a long time.  I'd love to see some sympathetic posts on here, I need some good excuses as to why I need to start a Lego mini figure collection! 

Hope everyone in cyberland is doing spiffy.  I'll write more frequently now, I promise.

Cereal Dad

Anger Management and the Ugly Truth...

I find it interesting that people who claim to have everything going for them feel the constant need to put others down to feel superior.  Superior intellect, more disposable income, ect... My personal experience tells me that the happier a person is, the less they care about trivial material things.  I really don't care how much money someone makes in a year, if they are a jerk, they are a jerk.

There are rich jerks and poor jerks.  It doesn't seem to matter how much they have, it is how they look at it.  I work with some fool who is moving to a new state and a new tax bracket.  Rather than getting a place to rent, he's going to take advantage of others' hospitalities.  I hope he is more polite to them than he is to the people he works with, because otherwise he will find himself with no place to stay. 

I'm not sure how he impressed people to pay him more to do less, because he is a deadbeat lame duck at the place he works now.  Maybe he is scared and worried about moving to a strange place and starting a completely new life.  I know I would be.  His attitude makes it hard to feel any sympathy though.  I am having a hard time not judging this person, even though he is really of no consequence to me. 

I also find it interesting that he is going to work for a company that I would never work for strictly because of my ethics and beliefs.  Perhaps instead of being concerned about being the highest paid whore he should think about the impact he leaves in this world.  I really wouldn't like to be the person who everyone breathes a sigh of relief once he's left the room. 

The sad thing is I see this attitude in people more and more.  They aren't happy with themselves, and they give that to someone else to deal with.  We've all been guilty of this at some point.  It's stupid that I should have a bad day just because someone else is. 

My solution is this:  I forgive him for being a burden instead of a joy.  Not personally, only to myself.  I will try my best to behave, and take joy in his leaving.  Most importantly though, I will try to avoid following his example, and be a joy to those I encounter throughout the day.  Everyone can be a teacher, even if it is only by showing you what not to do.

Shamanism vs. Castle Age

Greetings Cyberland. 

I'm going to start out this blog by addressing Facebook and other social network "games"  in general and Castle Age in particular.  I've tried alot of network games and Castle Age is the only one I play anymore.  If you see me playing something else it is probably my wife exploiting the second account....( naughty naughty!)

I LOVE Castle Age!!!  The open format with the lack of rules and guides kinda forces you to explore the game site and figure out what the heck is going on.  If you are a "guide" kinda person you can visit their wiki guide http://castleage.wikidot.com/ which is really helpful too, but I don't recommend it until you are totally sucked in because it is more fun figuring it out yourself. 

The artwork is really cool.  I'm the kind of person who will look at fantasy books because they have a cover by one of my favorite artists.  If you like fantasy art like me two great websites to check out are http://www.elfwood.com/ and http://www.deviantart.com/

When the twins were babies and needed to be bottlefed and cuddled all the time the Facebook apps were great!  I could never play Playstation and perform fatherly duties...since Facebook apps generally just use the mouse and don't require alot of interaction outside of "click here" and "read this" the games helped pass time between messaging and posting photos and other good stuff.  I hardly game console games anymore, although I am a glutton for punishment with the Tomb Raider series, you feel like you have really achieved something when you finish a Tomb Raider game. 

The thing about Facebook apps that strike me as odd is the emphasis of collecting "artificial possessions", something you own even though it only exists in Cyberland.  Below is the definition I found in Wikipedia describing "Ownership."  You can skip it if you want but I'm trying to get to my point, promise. 

Ownership is the state or fact of exclusive rights and control over property, which may be an object, land/real estate or intellectual property. Ownership involves multiple rights, collectively referred to as title, which may be separated and held by different parties. The concept of ownership has existed for thousands of years and in all cultures. Over the millennia, however, and across cultures what is considered eligible to be property and how that property is regarded culturally is very different. Ownership is the basis for many other concepts that form the foundations of ancient and modern societies such as money, trade, debt, bankruptcy, the criminality of theft and private vs. public property. Ownership is the key building block in the development of the capitalist socio-economic system.

The process and mechanics of ownership are fairly complex since one can gain, transfer and lose ownership of property in a number of ways. To acquire property one can purchase it with money, trade it for other property, receive it as a gift, steal it, find it, make it or homestead it. One can transfer or lose ownership of property by selling it for money, exchanging it for other property, giving it as a gift, being robbed of it, misplacing it, or having it stripped from one's ownership through legal means such as eviction, foreclosure, seizure or taking. Ownership is self-propagating in that the owner of any property will also own the economic benefits of that property.

I guess I just find it amusing that we are so immersed in a capitalistic society that our recreational games involve a monetary system, and predilection towards consumerism.  If we can't own it IRL (in real life) then we must create a digital synthetic version to mass produce.  It is amusing because according to my beliefs you can never own anything.  You get to live there or drive that or wear it or play with it until it breaks, gets used up, wears out, is stolen or repossessed from you.  The only thing you own free and clear is your mind and soul, and your mind has probably been cluttered up by alot of garbage propaganda.  The material world is fun to play in, but ultimately it is just a silly game. 

Don't let your possessions own you.  I've seen grown men cry because their car got in a fender bender.  How childish.  How asinine.  Why project your self image through the consumption of a product?  Does it really matter if you are a BMW prick or a Harley Davidson asshole?  People used to distribute free t-shirts with advertising on them because it was free advertising.  Now we pay 3-5 times as much for the t-shirt with the advertising on it because it suits our image. 

Before you make fun of the game someone is playing, consider this:  They are aware they are playing a game.  What games are you playing?  For someone to win some of these games, alot of people have to lose.  What's that horrible old line?  It isn't whether you win or lose, but how you play the game.  How you play the game is winning or losing.  If you feel like you're losing then you are missing out on something, and it isn't reward points or bonus features.  It's time to look at what you are truly thankful for and not just obsessed with.  I get obsessed with things all the time.  My interests change frequently and diversely, but I do not allow preoccupation interfere with my core values.  That is where you receive your rewards in life. 

Dreams...what do they mean?

This is an odd post....events at work last night brought back a random memory of a dream I had a long time ago...how long ago?  I'm not sure, but it was from my bachelor days.  Anyways in my dream I'm driving around down by the beach.  I'm cruising.  Checking out all the girls.  And they are all waving to me!  They all are smiling and I'm smiling back and somehow I realize that I'm driving the Oscar Meyer Weinermobile. 

I'm sure there is some insightful Freudian interpretation to this dream, but I just like it because it is funny.

I had a great one for halloween last year, but I'm not going to write about it because it is already on the web.  Here is a link if you are curious.  http://serialmommy.blogspot.com/2009/11/jasons-halloween-dream.html
It involves zombies and brain eating and retail service, if that makes any sense. 

In general I do not remember my dreams, if I have them, although I'm pretty sure I do.  I've had scary dreams but in general I do not remember them very well. I had one dream in which I lived an entire lifetime in a single night. I only had it once and do not remember any details about it.  I had a dream that convinced me my father was dead.  I woke up crying and I think it took me 5 minutes to realize that it wasn't real. 

I guess I'm curious as to why these particular dreams had such an impact on my concious thought that I remember them at least in part, when I am perfectly capable of going years without having a memerable subconcious thought.  My wife Jamie has particularly vivid dreams and can remember alot of what happened after she wakes up.  I would like to have more insight into my own thoughts, but they seem locked inside. 

Back to School?

Hello Cyberland. 

For those of you just getting to know me, as this is my first blog post and all, I'm a 33 year old dad taking care of a household consisting of my wife, 5 children, and myself.  There used to be some cats but they ran away.  That was actually probably pretty smart.  My wife wants a dog, I'm not convinced yet.  But I digress...
it is back to school season, which means absolutely nothing to this household since we're home scholars. 

schol·ar

 /ˈskɒlər/ Show Spelled[skol-er]

–noun

1.

a learned or erudite person, esp. one who has profound knowledge of a particular subject.

2.

a student; pupil.

3.

a student who has been awarded a scholarship.

 

The reason we home school started with our oldest son James.  James has been diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome.

 

  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asperger_syndrome  

 

James is hyper-sensitive to certain stimulus, and has difficulty understanding emotions and nonverbal communication.  He has difficulty making transitions and tends to fixate on certain interests to the exclusion of all else.  We did the school IEPs and tried working with the counselors for several years.  We tried changing school districts.  We tried getting him into a specialized school  (he is too high functioning and needs to be "mainstreamed").  His behavior progressively grew worse.  He would run away from both home and school.  He would throw tantrums that would last 3 or more hours.  He would physically lash out at teachers, students, and siblings. 

Now James is a home scholar.  At first I had difficulty with understanding why my wife wanted to do this.  I knew James was difficult to work with.  I believed she liked the break she got when he was at school.  The more we talked about it the more I saw her side.  She couldn't relax while James was at school because the school was constantly calling her.  "Your son is having a tantrum and we can't stop it.  Your son struck another child.  Your son attempted to run away.  We need to suspend your son."  She was so worried about what he was doing when she wasn't there to intercede that there was no sense of relief or respite.

This wasn't an easy decision to make.  One of us had to quit our job.  I didn't want to quit my job.  I needed the break in the day away from our family to interact with other people.  My wife has more tolerance for the difficult behavior.  I would have been the stay-at-home parent if I honestly thought I could have done a better job, but I know that I cannot.  My wife has an incredible amount of patience.  Me not so much. 

The good thing is, it's working for him!  James isn't under nearly as much stress.  We are able to observe his behavior at all times of the day, and get his prescriptions adjusted before they lose their effectiveness.  Academically he is doing great.  He is improving his ability to sustain friendships and interact in a more positive manner.  He is 11 years old now, and it has been a long road to get to this point, but we're by no means out of the woods. 

The point, or one of the points I'm trying to make, anyways, is this:  Home schooling is not something we initially wanted to do.  We didn't choose to home school because of some religious beliefs, we aren't members of some strange cult or militia.  We are simply trying to provide for our children the best way we can.  What came next surprised me.  I went to some of the home school play date get-together events my wife got involved in through her on-line community.  The children were well-behaved, but not anti-social at all.  The mothers were great people.  Here were the children that I wished my kids would make friends with at school.  Only they weren't ever at school for them to meet.

I don't understand where we as a society decided it was better for other people to raise our children for us.  We're supposed to let go and let them become who they are.  That's a bunch of crap.  When you display a lack of interest in your children they will feel a lack of self-importance.  They need your help and guidance.  As a parent you are their primary role model in life.  You will fall short, just like every other parent ever has.  But you have to do your best.  Your best, not some teacher or guidance councilor or whomever.  Because they can never be what you are, their parent. 

So here I am, in up over my head, but it's okay...it's okay because I know I will do better than someone who doesn't care, because I know I do.